What Do You Have Planned For Us, 2025?

Happy New Year, friends

01/10/25

I was rolling along nicely for a solid week there.

The week prior to New Year’s Eve,
I felt a sweet, upbeat buzz
zipping around between my heart and brain

and it was keeping me feeling steady
and - dare I say it - closer to joy.

I played music live for an audience
on New Years Day.

I did it over the Internet
using a guitar, a camera and a microphone
and was happy and
stereotypically surprised that
anyone bothered to show up to the "gig" at all.

You won’t hear this said too often
but i’m here to say it:

performing your own songs in your underwear
isn’t as awful as it might sound.

I played for well over an hour
and managed to hold on to a consistent crowd
for the duration.

I read through the many comments
and tried to respond to as many of them as I could without disturbing the "flow" of the show.

I felt at ease
useful
natural
inspired
and even necessary for that brief moment
while I played my heart out on these 
damned songs of mine
before hitting the button to end the live stream.

I later found out that people
had donated money for my time and effort
and it made me emotional.

I have made a pretty decent living
as a musician and artist for 40 years
and that means that many people
from all over the planet
have put money into the pocket
of me, my family and my associates
for an awfully long time.

So, I’m used to the generosity
and thoughtfulness extended to me and mine
because of the creative things
i’ve made and still make.

but maybe this time

- with it being the end of another exhausting year -

- and the uncertainty that comes with the start of a brand new year -

- and reflecting on all the craziness going on in the world and that is going on in my own tiny world - 

- and adding to the fact that I’ve been struggling to survive like I haven’t had to in ages -

- physically, mentally, emotionally, financially and spiritually -

this latest act of kindness extended to me
feels a little bigger, deeper
and much more necessary.

I did the math of the contributions
that came in during my live performance
and realized that I could pay my monthly car payment

and pay the balance on a
past due credit card bill
that i’d been sweating for 2 weeks.

I shut down my livestream control center
then closed my eyes and unintentionally
fell into a meditative state

Then I quietly thanked the Universe for having my back
yet again.

“Good looking out, Universe”, I whispered.

 

03/24/21

Happy birthday to me. 

If you had told me when I was 30 that I wouldn’t be able to play my guitar when I turned 60, I might have believed you but not for the reasons you might think. I know this dumb injury is only temporary but damn if it doesn’t mean a little something more at this age. I have never gone more than a day without strumming a guitar and it just feels weird and wrong. 

At least I can still paint and draw. 

The good news is that I’m doing pretty well considering everything leading up to this moment and hey, I still get to look over at, talk, hang and sing with my best friend of 30 years every day, even on the days we are driving each other nuts. 

Lastly, I still receive so much incredible love and support from the universe and still am fortunate to have the most amazing people in my life. 

Thank you, friends. 

I love ya. 

#oldhardcorekid #60isjustanumber


03/14/21

I laid my bike down yesterday afternoon. In the middle of Folsom Blvd in East Sacramento. A SUV in front of me slammed on his brakes when the car in front of him pulled some bullshit move to turn into Trader Joe's parking lot and I skidded sideways trying to avoid smashing into the back of him and ended up on the pavement. 

The whole thing happened super quickly and REALLY quietly. When I realized what had happened, I was shocked by how noiseless it was all around me and I instinctively braced for the next shitty thing to happen, like maybe, me getting hit by oncoming traffic while laying on a busy Saturday afternoon street. 

Luckily that didn't happen. What did happen is that I jumped up and stupidly lifted my bike off the street by myself and immediately felt a sharp pain shoot down my left arm. I could barely grip the clutch. I pulled or twisted something and it's not good at all. 

I spent about 2 minutes attempting to shake away the shock and when I tried kicking over the bike, it started right up. I hopped on it and hit a side street to get home but noticed that my gear shift lever seemed stuck in first gear and I was unable to change gears so I pulled over to ponder what next. I considered slowly riding home in first gear but then the bike sputtered like it was out of gas and then died. I parked it in front of someone's house in East Sac and pondered catching a Lyft but I needed to clear my head so I walked 20 or so blocks home. 

My bike is fucked and my arm feels REALLY fucked but it could have been way worse. I'm icing it and keeping it in a sling and giving it a night to see how it does. 

Fuck. 

ADDENDUM:    03/14/21 (later)

The diagnosis: non-displaced radial neck fracture. 

Yeah, I don't exactly know what that means either but it's not too serious. 

They put me in a cast and sling and I have a follow-up appt on Friday morning. 

I have to say, today's experience at Kaiser Permanente South Sac was pretty ok. Not too long of a wait and everyone I talked with had excellent bedside manners. I don't like going to the ER of any hospital but if I do, I'd prefer it to be KPSS. 

Once again, thank you to you all for your concern, advice and well wishes.

Pic: Allyson Seconds

02/10/21
Last night, I did something I've not done in almost a year. 

I went to a gym and got in a pretty solid work out. 

It would be sensible to assume that, since I'm married to a kick ass fitness trainer, I should be in great shape but man, am I ever not. 

For years, I've always been incredibly terrible at heeding much of the excellent advice my dear one has generously shared with me and I still can't exactly figure out why. She had me do a few things that immediately caused my body to silently ask me: "exactly, what are we doing here, champ?" but within a few minutes, it actually started to feel...kinda...good. 

Here's what I looked like.....

 

01/31/21 
I just finished up on these 3 new owl paintings. I stayed at my studio until almost 6 am working to try and fine tune all three.  I am showing them to you all before I share them on my social media pages. 

A couple of people have asked me if I have any sort of system to doing art and after giving the question some thought, I realize that I really don't. I do tend to do paintings in 3s. I'll start with a canvas, start doodling some ideas down in pen or pencil and then begin to fill things in with acrylic paint. I purposely keep blank canvasses in my sight so that, if I get the wild hair, I'll grab one and start on something new even though I'm working on the first one. And so on and so forth. I usually working in groups of 3s but at some point last year, I was working on 6 paintings at once and boy, was it interesting. 

I don't know if it takes longer to finish any one piece or not but eventually, I get them done :)